#MeToo: Why it’s past time for men to be men again

3

Reality check: Liberal feminism and the idea of gender fluidity is nonsense. Worse, it is ruining our country by disrupting the very roles that make society function well. Men are by nature protectors and providers. They have been from the earliest days of human civilization. Don’t blame the messenger here, but despite what recent generations have told you there are actual differences in the minds and bodies of men and women. Neither are better per se, they are just different. Who or what is responsible for this? Science. Genetics. God.

Does that mean that a woman cannot hold her own and take care of herself? As a single mother, I’m responsible for protecting and providing for my children so clearly it’s not an either or proposition. I’m not talking about individual cases I’m talking about society as a whole. We need more men. Real men. Strong men. Courageous men.

We are better off as a society when boys/men were taught and encouraged to be strong mentally and physically and to stand up against injustices against women. Yes, I know, I know what you’re thinking the modern feminist movement  was all about empowering women to stand up for ourselves. Yes, we can do that too but being able to is not the same as having to. Note: There’s a big difference between the liberal feminist movement and the original.

The current feminist movement at it’s core challenges or devalues masculinity and gender norms. These are the feminist that say our boys can’t play with toy guns but they can wear dresses. These are the individuals who love science until science says life begins at conception and that chromosomes determine ones sex. Those feminist want us to believe that allowing someone to decide their gender or heck letting them decide they don’t have a gender at all then providing them safe spaces and trigger warnings can solve our problems.

I watched my Facebook feed yesterday as women of all ages, races and backgrounds from around the nation posted “Me, too,” to signal that they had been sexually assaulted or harassed in their lifetime. What struck me was not only the sheer volume of women I know who have experienced trauma in their lifetime but also the reactions of the men who said that they stood with us.

I wonder how many men would be committing these atrocious acts against women if more fathers, brothers, boyfriends and males in general took to standing up to them and telling them it wouldn’t be tolerated anymore. I’m talking toe-to-toe in-your-face confrontations. Am I supporting vigilante justice? Well, maybe. In the sense that boys and men can police one another’s behavior and words in school or a fraternity house, on sporting teams or in the office. Imagine if every man took to protecting the women in their midst, treating them with respect and not allowing others any room for get away with anything less than the gold standard. Imagine a world where predators like Harvey Weinstein don’t get second, third or fourth chances. Where those in a position of power don’t turn a blind eye towards their deeds or the gossip about them.

Our fathers, our brothers, our husbands are suppose to be ready, willing and able to stand up and go to war, literally and figuratively, to make sure we women and our children are safe. It’s time we women look to them to do so again. Laws, rules and human resources guides aren’t cutting it when it comes to protecting women. Statistics show that. What we need now is real empowerment; not the type that comes on a tee shirt of bumper sticker but women feeling empowered to speak out and men who will have their back when they do.

Here’s the thing that gets me about most harassment and the behavior that leads to sexual assault. It can be recognized early on in most men. While we can never predict with 100% certainty who will be a harasser or assailant. We know the type those who don’t respect boundaries, feel as though the rules don’t apply to them and crave attention and power. Remember sexual assault is more about power than sex.

Men used to be raised to rise up against injustice not run to safe spaces and cower in the fetal position. Boys used to be taught that they have a responsibility to stand up to the bully, the aggressor, the bad guy. Not always, but frequently there’s tell-tale signs of the guy who says things he shouldn’t, touches women in ways he shouldn’t, acts aggressively and those men need to be shut down with a quickness by the men (and women) around them.

A big part of getting us back to where we need to be, is to stop acting like the real world is a gender neutral place. Let’s encourage little boys to rough house, play cops and robbers and line up their GI Joes for war at home and in classrooms. I want boys to play games of saving the damsel in distress and I want girls to know that while they can save themselves it’s okay to need help and to ask for it. It’s okay to trust men.

Boys need to develop their intuitive sense of protector without fear of some overzealous liberal saying it poses a threat to their delusional version of Utopia. Teaching a boy to be a man doesn’t mean we don’t teach them that girls are incapable of taking care of themselves, it just means that we teach them that they shouldn’t have to.

The fact is all of the victims of Harvey have brothers, fathers, male friends and colleagues. And in a different day and time this wouldn’t have lasted decades because the men around Harvey and his victims would not have allowed it.

Share.

3 Comments

  1. this is a crock, product of brainwashing by mothers and fathers to daughters that they are princesses. Women also obeyed men, often raped legally and were silent, Can’t have some “traditions” without the other, can’t pick and choose what you like to follow. If you want old standards, then by “God” let’s have them.

  2. Is it not said,
    “Be careful what you ask for”?
    Is it not said,
    Be the change you want to see in the world”?
    and “Let it begin with me.”
    And so much more.

    Ah, yes: If your adolescent er post-adolescent son were to be arrested and indicted for something he may have said, should he not get a second chance?

  3. I appreciate you sharing your opinion. I am curious what ideas/evidence are the basis for your argument that not having clear gender roles has increased assaults or led to men not speaking out? While I don’t have statistics on this, I would think that the opposite would be true. Things I think of as more traditional masculine traits are control, assertiveness, lack of emotion, confidence, and aggressiveness, to name a handful. Perhaps these aren’t the traits you are thinking of, but the more attractive traits in a man are, in my opinion, more traditionally feminine traits, like openness, honesty, and nurturance. Relatedly, it had been my experience that the as traditional masculine traits have become less desirable to women (largely as a result of feminism), it has become easier to find a more desirable partner, as well as to have men as friends. It has very clearly been my experience that men that are not particularly concerned about being “real men” or exhibiting traditionally masculine traits are the best and most reliable friends and partners. Of course we may have had totally different experiences in our lives, but in my experience those the *least* concerned with gender roles have proven by far the safest men to be around. They have been the ones to speak up for women and to call out other men for inappropriate behavior, not the men who are masculine or macho. I am all for men taking more responsibility for this – on that we agree – but I feel strongly that railing against feminism and less stringent gender roles is a misguided approach. You say “we are better off as a society when boys/men were taught and encouraged to be strong mentally and physically and to stand up against injustices against women.” That is a very feminist idea (although I don’t think modern feminism cares if men are physically strong – that’s really up to the individual). I responded because I thought it was interesting to find that I agreed with *so much* of your piece, but totally disagreed with your vision of how to get there. I hope you will reach out and try to get to know some trans or queer people in your community. I am fortunate enough to live somewhere very accepting or LGBTQ folks, and as a result many have become part of my everyday life. I can assure you, they are not ruining our country, what is ruining our country is a lack of acceptance for those different than ourselves.

Show Buttons
Hide Buttons
Processing...
Thank you! Your subscription has been confirmed. You'll hear from us soon.
Sign-up for Alabama Today's The Cheat Sheet
The morning read of Alabama politics
ErrorHere
%d bloggers like this: