Top 5 insults to conservatives via Doug Jones supporter on Wonkette

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Sometimes you read an article online and can’t help but ask yourself what in the world was the author thinking?

This certainly seems to be the case with a piece published Monday by “Fakakta South” over on Wonkette.com. Entitled “Wonkette’s own Alabama gal says y’all might get Doug Jones in your Christmas stocking. Roll Tide!,” the piece explains why South is confident Democratic Senate candidates Doug Jones is going to best Republican Roy Moore in Tuesday’s general election.

Filled with colorful language, South enumerates why she, and basically everyone she knows, will be voting for Jones. But she makes her point at the cost of insulting not just Moore-supporters, but  also Donald Trump supporters, pro-lifers and anyone else not voting for Jones. In a state chock-full of conservatives one has to wonder who she’s talking to. 

Top 5 insults to conservatives:

EDITOR’S NOTE: Explicit language below.

  1. Every single “educated, white, typically GOP voter” I personally know is voting for Doug Jones — even the assholes who voted for Trump just to be dicks.
  2. Even in the back-woods, back-water, and back-asswards parts of the counties, there’s way more vocal, public support for crystal meth than there is for Roy Moore.
  3. The 24 hour cable people manage to find what we call a tornado-survivor-type representative (the ones with the worst accents, fewest teeth and most overalls or camouflage) to say that “Everybody here loves the Judge.”
  4. More than anything else, it’s about beating a Democrat and pissing off the liberals. You can’t get a lot of these folks, including Roy Moore, to talk about actual policy or what a senator’s job even is, because they do not know or care, as long as it involves stopping Planned Parenthood from killin’ all them kids, and WINNIN’.
  5. It appears that there is a core group of Republicans who just hate Democrats, and worry constantly about all the precious unborn (blue eyed) babies, but how many of these identity politics voters really want to be identified in the long run as fine with being a pervert and are willing to go out and prove it with their vote?

* We are inclined not to publish the link to this hate-filled editorial, but for reference it can be found in full here.

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